D.T. Krippene

~ Searching for Light in the Darkness

D.T. Krippene

Tag Archives: Snowbound

Happy Valentine’s Day – I Bought You a Shovel

14 Friday Feb 2014

Posted by dtkrippene in Humor

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Humor, Shoveling Snow, Snowbound, Valentine's Day, Winter Blues

Out the Kitchen Door - Feb 14, 2014

DT Krippene:  Out the Kitchen Door – Feb 14, 2014

Ah … L-Amour.  Let me measure the depth of my love for you.  TWO FEET.  I’d use inches, but you’d get the wrong idea.

I know you wanted chocolates, my dear, but I bought two shovels  instead.  Aren’t they cute?  His and hers, and I made sure to get bright red, the color of love.  It’s easy to find if you drop it in a snow drift.  Think of the fun we’ll have, side by side like the pioneers of yesteryear.  Afterwards, we can build a snowman, or snowwoman, laugh at our icy Michelangelo sculpture with anatomically correct parts. I didn’t realize all you have is flat tops for shoes.  Maybe an extra pair of socks will help.

I know we had reservations at Maxim’s, but I think they’re closed.  I forgot to hit the store yesterday, but I have some Vienna sausage and a can of cream of celery soup.  Might have some jerky left over from my last hunting trip. We can warm our toes by the fire in our long johns, drink the airline miniature liquor samples I’ve been hoarding for days like this, maybe watch Groundhog Day. Yeah, we’ve seen it, but 14th time’s a charm.  Oh, forgot to mention the weather forecast.  They’re calling for another 4-6 inches tomorrow.  Won’t that be fun?  We can sing the holiday classic – “Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow?”

What’s that, my dear?  Go what myself ….?

Hey, come on now.  Isn’t my fault that Punxsutawney gopher got all transgender on us, changed his name to Phyllis and said she wasn’t coming out until May.  No, dear, that was caused by something called a polar vortex.  The arctic Inuit natives put a whammy on us southerners for causing global warming and melting the ice packs, messing up a lifestyle that goes back thousands of years. I think those rascally Canadians caused this storm.  They got it out for us … something about wanting to share the love … of winter.  Sure, we can pack up and visit your sister in South Carolina, but the car has been buried in a snowdrift by the road plow.  They charge a fine for parking in a snow emergency route?  I didn’t know it was going to be an emergency.  Besides, your sister got a foot of snow as well and her town doesn’t have road plows like ours, so consider ourselves lucky.

Should have gone to the Olympics in Sochi, I hear the weather is balmy.  What?   I thought it was funny.  Gee whiz, what a grumpy pants.

Hey, look what I found … a couple of Hershey kisses left over from Christmas.  Looks like you’ll get chocolate after all.  Give me a hug.

Oh, babe … you kiss your mother with that mouth?

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Email
  • Tumblr
  • Pinterest
  • More
  • StumbleUpon

Like this:

Like Loading...

About DT

dtkrippene

dtkrippene

A native of Wisconsin and Connecticut, DT deserted aspirations of being a biologist to live the corporate dream and raise a family. After seven homes, a ten-year stint working in Asia, and an imagination that never slept, his muse refused to be hobbled as a mere dream. A member of the Bethlehem Writers Group and Greater Lehigh Valley Writers Group, DT writes apocalyptic science fiction, paranormal, and parallel universe science fantasy. DT has published several short stories. “Hell of a Deal”, in the paranormal collection, Untethered, and most recently, “Man’s Best Friend”, in the 2021 Best Indie Book for Fiction, Fur, Feathers, and Scales. He also appeared in the Write Here – Write Now short story collection with his middle-grade paranormal, “Locker 33C”. An active member of the Bethlehem Writers Group, he’s been a featured author in the BWG Writers Roundtable Magazine, and will appear in the July 2021 Summer Issue with “Hot as Sin”. His latest project is an apocalyptic tale of humans on the edge extinction, and a young man born years after surviving humans had been rendered sterile. You can find D.T. on his website, Searching for Light in the Darkness, and his social media links on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.

View Full Profile →

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Archives

Recent Tweets

  • This thread can be read here: dtkrippene.com/2023/01/30/sho… 6 days ago
  • Contest winners will be announced on the Bethlehem Writers Roundtable website and on the Bethlehem Writers Group we… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 6 days ago
  • Initial blind judging will be done by members of the Bethlehem Writers Group, LLC. Finalists will be notified by Ju… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 6 days ago
  • Second Place: $100 and publication in Bethlehem Writers Roundtable Third Place: $50 and publication in Bethlehem W… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 6 days ago
  • …those holidays. There are many such holidays, so let your imagination fly for a chance to win: Winners will rec… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 6 days ago
Follow @dtkrippene

Lastest Posts

  • Short Story Contest for 2024 – Seasons Readings January 30, 2023
  • The Legend of Four Winds Butte – Part 2 October 31, 2022
  • The Legend of Four Winds Butte October 19, 2022
  • Spring Issue of Roundtable Magazine April 2, 2022
  • Revised Deadline for “Element of Mystery” Short Story Contest – April 30, 2022 March 26, 2022

dtkrippene

  • RSS - Posts
  • RSS - Comments

Blogs I Follow

  • Fairy Tale of the Month
  • charles french words reading and writing
  • D.T. Krippene
  • Jerome W. McFadden's Blog
  • Dread Poets Sobriety
  • jenacidebybibliophile
  • Thrills, Spills, and just a dash of Romance
  • daily vibes
  • Book Admirer
  • Michael A. Ventrella
  • Christopher D. Ochs
  • A Slice of Orange
  • unbolt me
  • Thoughts Stained With Ink
  • Suzanne Grieco Mattaboni
  • Garden Mindfully
  • Here to Make Friends
  • Wanderlust Twins
  • Firefly's Journal
  • Welcome

Log-In

  • Register
  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.com

DTKrippene

Copywrite 2011 - 2015
All Rights Reserved

Blog at WordPress.com.

Fairy Tale of the Month

Reflections and Delusions

charles french words reading and writing

An exploration of writing and reading

D.T. Krippene

Searching for Light in the Darkness

Jerome W. McFadden's Blog

Tales From an Untethered Mind

Dread Poets Sobriety

Irreverence's Glittering New Low!

jenacidebybibliophile

Book Reviewer and Blogger

Thrills, Spills, and just a dash of Romance

One writer's experiences, and battles with words

daily vibes

Book Admirer

Michael A. Ventrella

Aspiring Writers Unite! Learn from my mistakes (and advice from the experts)

Christopher D. Ochs

Dare to Defy the Unknown

A Slice of Orange

unbolt me

the literary asylum

Thoughts Stained With Ink

Suzanne Grieco Mattaboni

Garden Mindfully

Seeds planted by Sienna Mae Heath

Here to Make Friends

I didn't travel 10,000 miles across the globe to not make any friends

Wanderlust Twins

Firefly's Journal

Smile! You’re at the best WordPress.com site ever

Welcome

  • Follow Following
    • D.T. Krippene
    • Join 158 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • D.T. Krippene
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...
 

    %d bloggers like this: