I read an article recently that ten percent of Americans do not own a cell phone. Really? How can they possibly hope to speak the new age language of texting? The stats must be heavily skewed to include religious orders who take vows of silence, full time participants of historical reenactment parks, and children under the age of five (though I’ve heard many of this age class are born with innate skill). It’s hard to fathom a subclass of people who don’t text at red lights, standing at the check-out counter, or sending text replies while pretending to listen — standing in front of me, as if I can’t see them ignoring me.